22/11/21

BAD DAYS.

“Breathe, it’s just a bad day, not a bad life.”

I’ve been having a lot of bad days recently and it’s so unfair because from what I’ve read or heard, the bad days are supposed to be few, which is a path for the good ones to follow through.

I’ve had a lot of bad and terrible days this year and while I fight to keep going. These past few months, weeks and days have been getting harder.

It’s like everyday I wake up with fake positivity that the day is going to be much better and favorable, there’s just always bad news looming around waiting to creep up on me.

I’m tired. I’m exhausted. I don’t know how to express myself to anyone. I don’t know how to explain how I’m feeling to anyone because honestly I don’t want to hear the regular speech of how it gets better and how it’s just a phase and how I should pray and I’m not alone yada yada.

This is because I’ve done all these but it just seems like they’re getting worse everyday.

I’ve prayed. I’m still praying. I’ve hoped. I’m still hoping. I’ve tried focusing on other things. I’m still trying. But everyday, I’m getting closer and closer to giving up to be honest.

Why? Why do I necessarily have to go through so much stress and pain to get the happiness I desire?

Why do I have to have so much bad days to finally get the good ones I yearn for?

A lot of things have gone on this year and while I’ve not still seen the bigger picture of it or I don’t know the reason they had to happen, I’m still hoping I get the point of them. Maybe December 31st, everything will be clear.

I’m tired. I want to have peace of mind.

It’s hard because it seems like not great things are happening to me and the people I care about so how would I not be worried?

I want happiness. I want peace of mind. I want to see the bigger picture. I want to experience the good days. I want everything positive I desire.

Yours sincerely,

Sad Lamss.